28 August 2011

there's always something to begin with

 This week I got divorced. For real. I'm so sorry that we had to do it, I'm sorry I was no longer happy being together and I hurt you with leaving. I knew this was right thing to do, even if I still care about you and that's something I don't want you to forget.
After 1,5 year of living another life, being on my own while not being alone neither lonely, struggling for personal freedom of mind, heart and clear legal situation, and, not surprisingly - winning. The last part of my decision finally came to an end and even if I already worked all out so many times talking for so many hours to so many people, I felt relief. Also things, which had to change to make this blog happen started right with the decision of getting divorced. That was a bright, colorful process compound of thousands kilometers traveled, countless evenings of talks, many polar emotions, tears, smiles and letters. So (no matter how cliché it sounds) one complex decision triggered a process which gave birth to a new beginning and ended my old life forever, about time.
 I'm leaving in two weeks to live in Germany for at least a year, again : the more on my own, the less alone. I decided to start this blog in English, I'm sorry for everyone who won't be able to read it because of that, but I felt this is important to open up this stream of expression which is blogging to more people. However I love my mother tongue, it's an extremely unpopular Eastern-European, hard to learn language. That's why English.
This is what I start letting me be inspired by all of the people I met in the course last two years,  I thank all of you despite of not being (yet? still?) in deep friendship with all. The rest can count on some random pictures of you here, from time to time. I promise to keep the faces unrecognizable. I also, as many of us, being so involved in so many important things, leave behind some unfinished activities. Exept some I felt disappointed about while acting in Warszawa (which,  as a matter of fact, made my exile much easier) I tried to fix as many of them as possible before I go.  Hope it will go this well as until now, hopefully I still have two weeks left.

"And I'm sorry I let you down, but I gotta get the hell out of this town ... "

Enjoy my up-to-the-minute love: