9 February 2013

Forget how much it hurts and try again.

Let's be honest.

I'm good at learning, I learn fast, especially languages. I have a great sense of my body, I enjoy it, know how to use and cooperate with it. I know it very well, which also helps me learn activities connected to sports with ease.
I'm very intelligent, 131 IQ, high over average. I'm reliable, good at planning, organizing and keeping promises. I'm good at situation analysis, anticipation, I have a great sense of social dynamics and strongly developed empathy and emotional sensibility. I'm a good listener and I'm often able to help people out with some heart/mind troubles. I like to make friends and I take good care of them when I feel, that we're close.
I'm also good at graphical arts, I write easily and with a good taste. I sing quite well and have a good ear for music. I cook really well, especially vegan.

I have dyscalculia.
I'm definitely not good in relationships.

I haven't been single for longer than few weeks since almost 13 years. For almost one year in open/polyamorous relationship.
Despite that, I never, or almost never felt really appealing, beautiful or interesting from the attractiveness point of view. Always or almost always felt average and wondering what do other girls have or do, what makes them so attractive, what I can never achieve.
Never counting on anything good and always expecting disasters.
And disasters come, smaller or bigger, more or less dramatic for me or others, sooner or later.
So this is how it's going to be, this, what just didn't work out, that all, what didn't work out.
I don't even try to think about this carefree, sweet, trustful and fond being together. Obviously that's not for me. Although I desire it so bad, I somehow feel, that relationships don't work with me. That if I don't understand myself so much, how could I ever expect from anyone to make this effort.
So no more expectations, no regrets, no assumptions, no plans, single bed, falling asleep to the music, rejoicing exceptions. Rejoicing my freedom as a lesser evil.

Endlessly coming to terms with feeling happy with myself, my activities, my work, my art and my inner conflicts.
Not needing anyone to make me complete.

Nevermind, that soon I will probably fall in love again, absolutely helpless, senseless and unreflective.

And I hope I don't have to explain, that it works the same way not only with love.
Also with activism. And challenges. And tattoos.

8 February 2013

Desk deco

Some non-existing anymore picture I put on my desk. Not very practical, but pretty.

Stencil stickers

Some of the newest advertising stickers I made with the name of this blog and others, just for the fun of street art, sprayed on post office package stickers (but they don't stick very well outside).

Bunch of postcards 2011-2012

Some of collage works, mostly postcards from this and last year's Christmas, Summer travels and birthday gifts.

Spring 2012 pics

Some newer drawings from the time when I started to be ungl├╝cklich verliebt and decided to start a blackbook in order to have all my ready works in one place, not like before, flying around on small paper pieces.

It's not a real blackbook, because I'm not into graffiti, but just into street art.

Not that anyone would tell me what to do. Or that I would care.
Some more drawings on the way to get scanned.

Riot don't Diet Demonstration flyers

Those I made for Riot don't Diet demonstration we organized on 6th of May International No Diet Day and for baking party, where we made a lot of great vegan sweets to give away during the demonstration.

Art + the rest = a bit of fresh breeze

I weighed up the pros and cons of starting a new blog with other products of my free time, talent and creativity, but finally I decided to put everything here. First, it's not so much of it to fill the whole blog with it and second I wanted to avoid the pressure of posting, waiting for entries and all of this complications. So since now I post everything in categories, you can find them above. You will maybe get inspired or at least have some fun and I will not regret, that all my art stays hidden.
No regrets. Pure profit.

For the good beginning I post some of my older drawings.

4 February 2013

Cosmetic bags

Those I made sometime in Spring, because I needed one for traveling since my old one turned out to be too small. But they were so easy and pleasant to sew, that I decided to make some more for presents.

On request all colors still available.
Price negotiable, write me for details.

1 February 2013

Simple beltbag

I made this one, because I needed something small for wallet and cellphone. Not a masterpiece, but nice and really useful.
Soon I plan to sew some more for selling, but that's also another story.